At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize