i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB