Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  $35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.

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  (309): $35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively. http://tfl.nu/sa2o
  Replies (6) Good night (1385) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

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  (831): atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex. http://tfl.nu/0vib
  Replies (31) Good night (692) Bad night (6851)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.

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  (904): i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/yyq8
  Replies (68) Good night (4483) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina

  (804): View more from Virginia

  not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote

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  (401): she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina (804): not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote http://tfl.nu/mq8t
  Replies (33) Good night (1082) Bad night (4169)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.

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  (310): four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again. http://tfl.nu/xdhu
  Replies (21) Good night (927) Bad night (4513)
• Favorite

  (762): View more from Georgia

  Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.

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  (762): Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please. http://tfl.nu/mnuz
  Replies (52) Good night (5414) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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  (630): Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible? http://tfl.nu/m7m6
  Replies (12) Good night (1008) Bad night (3734)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.

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  (541): This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors. http://tfl.nu/qolh
  Replies (27) Good night (5540) Bad night (1323)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic

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  (303): Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic http://tfl.nu/n8k4
  Replies (10) Good night (3585) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land

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  (508): whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land http://tfl.nu/kude
  Replies (7) Good night (2765) Bad night (1616)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.

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  (509): i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/8fl0
  Replies (7) Good night (1871) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?

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  (727): Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now? http://tfl.nu/ch6a
  Replies (11) Good night (741) Bad night (1477)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!

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  (402): WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?! http://tfl.nu/drpl
  Replies (21) Good night (1573) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs

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  (707): After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs http://tfl.nu/t3em
  Replies (6) Good night (1985) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.

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  (585): You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away. http://tfl.nu/8ccj
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (292)

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