Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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