dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The convent might be a nice break from real life
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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