I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize