It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
