no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
