Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
