So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
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I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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