Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
