You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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