Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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