I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
