She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's official drugs can't kill me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?