Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.

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  (323): WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag. http://tfl.nu/8spr
  Replies (6) Good night (1556) Bad night (2321)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.

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  (218): it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger. http://tfl.nu/p87j
  Replies (10) Good night (6127) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap

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  (425): Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap http://tfl.nu/z2b9
  Replies (18) Good night (5503) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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  (615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c
  Replies (14) Good night (1092) Bad night (3170)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.

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  (850): He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person. http://tfl.nu/yofm
  Replies (13) Good night (836) Bad night (4370)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner

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  (908): His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life. (732): sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner http://tfl.nu/i1p0
  Replies (26) Good night (1494) Bad night (5794)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.

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  (859): I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay. http://tfl.nu/kwe9
  Replies (29) Good night (4487) Bad night (1906)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Ugh he's texting me.

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.

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  (204): Ugh he's texting me. (1-204): Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/6r54
  Replies (5) Good night (1681) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?

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  (918): What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else? http://tfl.nu/xvvc
  Replies (5) Good night (1028) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

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  (+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355
  Replies (7) Good night (2333) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.

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  (773): It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11. http://tfl.nu/euda
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  Yes I do

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  (713): Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize? (1-713): Yes I do http://tfl.nu/5hh2
  Replies (3) Good night (902) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?

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  (402): What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life? http://tfl.nu/gmwz
  Replies (29) Good night (636) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...

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  (405): Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time... http://tfl.nu/6vqb
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?

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  (309): I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that? http://tfl.nu/psux
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (174)

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