hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires