We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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