...so i touched it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
