i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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