Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he fucked my hip out of place.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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