He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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