Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
