he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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