roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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