Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
