Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
