I feel great
I just peed on a car
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Even my vagina gasped.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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