If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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