He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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