Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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