So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
