I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize