what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
