Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Pants are for mortals
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize