he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
