WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
