Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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