yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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