Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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