i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Where is the hickey?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
