People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Your cock deserves a montage
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
