I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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