Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
