I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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