I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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