oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
