She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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