Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
