can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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