how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize