don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We don't watch enough power rangers
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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