Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
