Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
