Me too!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
