it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
