Already got asked if we're dating
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
