Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
