I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
