Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
