He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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