I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
