K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
