Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You were trust falling into bushes
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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