Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
