I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
