I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize